Meandering and Musing

Me: Nate Silver just told me I masturbate more than the average woman.
Me: Well, there was a post on 538. He didn't like, call or anything. ..Yet.
blitheandbonny: That's the weirdest thing you've messaged me.
Me:...Are you sure?
Blithe: Well. This week?
Me:...Are you sure?
Blithe: Hold on, I'm looking to see when you told me you make a helluva James Spader.


In other news, I have two interns. They're both very good, but one is insisting on coming to me every time she has a question, even though I've asked her to email me. I briefly considered a water spray bottle.

This is a conversation taken from FB chat. It initially started with a size joke about how one of my partners got an 8 inch Galaxy tab rather than a 10 inch Galaxy tab.

Me: well, you've heard mine and [redacted]'s theory on that, right?
Anything over like, 11 inches is like climbing Mt. Everest.
You aren't doing it because it is enjoyable
You're doing it to say you did it
(and there is blood loss. And sherpas. And hypothermia. And a faster passage up the north, but it's more dangerous.)
(things in parenthesis might not actually be similar in both situations)
(except the sherpas)

Him: LOL

Me: Did I tell you that I used to think sherpas weren't people?

Him: Um...no.

Me: Because in accounts of climbing Everest, they always say "This white dude was the first to climb/climbed the highest/stayed the longest. There were sherpas with him."
so clearly, if the sherpas weren't getting their own credit. they were.....high-altitude llamas!

Him: So...you thought Tensing Norgay was a llama?

Me:........Some people name their llamas in clever ways
and if I ever have a llama
I will name it Tensing Norgay
but I can't have a llama

Him: This is now my favorite fact about you.

Me: because I am allergic to them
I actually told someone all this while I was druuuuunk one night
except I kept confusing sherpa and llama
and when someone pointed out that no, llamas aren't people
I called them a racist dickbag
and flailed at them, menacingly...but mostly drunkenly.

Him: Lol

Yep. When you date me, you get lots of conversations like that. Uh huh. Line starts over there.

"So after Mom woke me with that incredibly depressing conversation, I went to make dinner...only to discover that ALL the lights in kitchen--three tiny track lights I can't change--have burned out. I made dinner in the dark."

"That's...Wow."

"Yeah. Its a good thing the ex systematically eradicated any ability I had to see deeper meaning in anything. Otherwise..."

"Yeah. Head. Oven. Badness."

"Nah. Not a gas oven."

"Brightside!"